Invitations

A caring, considerate person does not ever demand his/her beloved participate in any sexual activity. You may, however, invite him/her to share this or that with you. This is because so much of sex is also bound up with what a person thinks about themselves - as in "less of a man" or "not being womanly".


Women do not generally see themselves as being sexually aggressive. So demanding that she be sexually aggressive may strike her as wanting her to behave "unnaturally" - in a way contrary to her beliefs.


Men generally are not in favor of just passively receiving a woman's attention especially if they see themselves as being submissive or subordinate to her. He may feel that you see him as being "less of a man".


Any frontal assault on such beliefs will be seen as a threat. ("Pushing limits" is the same thing more neatly dressed.) You cannot do that without damaging your image and place within the relationship. Threats, whether real or not, do not generate that loving feeling.


But you can invite him/her to play.


Invitations suggest delight, fun, joy and there's nothing threatening in that. Light and laughter whilst rolling around together - who would object to participating? Instead of being seen as some uncaring, inconsiderate lout (or worse), you are now seen as a wonderfully adventurous playmate; a sincere lover and a true friend.


All because you invited instead of demanded.