Fragile Egos

No one is attractive to everyone. But in our heart of hearts - we want everyone to find us irresistable. We want everyone to say "yes". We want to be so devastating that we can make a sewage treatment plant "sexy" just by walking by it. We want the mere idea of us unbuttoning our blouse enough to make every man ejaculate in his pants. It could happen. Certainly, some people have "it". Somewhere. But we learn to deal with this kind of "ego-risk" as part of the maturation process.

The fragile ego being discussed here is the kind that releases the dark side of human nature. The fragile ego being discussed here is the result of having once been prey to a predator. Fragile egos are those that have been destroyed by others whose own egos have been previously destroyed by someone else with a fragile ego.

Abuse lives on because the abuser feels powerless and thus seeks what makes him/her feel powerful. Since the underlying cause of his/her powerlessness remains unaddressed, the wound is not healed, the need continues into pathology and a predator is born.

Insecurity, which is only fear in fancy dress, is to blame for all of this. One's fears cause fragility. When one fears something, one gives power away to whatever one fears leaving one powerless before whatever is fearful.

Fear of being abandoned makes women stay in toxic relationships. Fear of being seen as weak makes men raise their fists towards those they say they love. Fear of being rejected leads people to take what they were not given.

This is not how we should live.

Your happiness should not depend upon the ruination of another person. Your happiness should not depend upon the spilling of another's blood nor upon the breaking of another's bones. Your happiness should not depend upon the twisting of another person's mind or the blighting of their hopes and dreams. No one should have to die at your hands or upon your orders.


Resolve now to face up to your fears. Examine why you fear. Find another way.
Be gentle to eachother and try to consider their point of view.
Get help.

For an unexamined life is not worth living.