"a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
else what's a heaven for?"
Always having something towards which one strives is usually thought of as being a good thing. And yet...I wonder. Always to strive yet never to achieve? Hmmm. Doesn't sound quite healthy to me since that is the path to obsession isn't it?
Unless one has moments of contentment along the way, the endless lack of satisfaction makes a bleak and barren life. One gets desperate; one begins to despair. Than, maybe, one begins to turn the pain into hate - of self, perhaps of others. The slip into pathology is a subtle one.
Yet those moments of contentment - when all is well, good, and joyous - can enrich even the bleakest life into something rich and wonderful. Held in the heart and remembered, moments where all is enchanted restore sanity and balance to life.
I do not ask you to tell of those moments but to remember them and tell me if my thory in paragraph 3 is correct and why or incorrect and why not?
It seems true to me.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Achieving Balance
Between work, home, the kids, paying bills and taxes - life can leave little room for a love life. DON'T let this happen! Resolve to find the time and space for at least 3 hours of relaxed yet focused participative sex per week. Orgasms and intimacy are good for your health.
In a way, sex is like breathing - it only really matters when you can't do it.
But the closing of the body also means a gradual closing of the mind and then of the heart - a once loving couple find themseves on the edge of divorce/separation/break-up. The loss of intimacy slowly grinds away eroding what the partners once shared.
Wrap your arms around your partner, say you love him/her and then KISS him/her to prove it! Do not take "no" for an answer! Be exuberant! Be joyous! Be tantalizing!
Stand and Deliver!
Because who ever had an orgasm they didn't like?
In a way, sex is like breathing - it only really matters when you can't do it.
But the closing of the body also means a gradual closing of the mind and then of the heart - a once loving couple find themseves on the edge of divorce/separation/break-up. The loss of intimacy slowly grinds away eroding what the partners once shared.
Wrap your arms around your partner, say you love him/her and then KISS him/her to prove it! Do not take "no" for an answer! Be exuberant! Be joyous! Be tantalizing!
Stand and Deliver!
Because who ever had an orgasm they didn't like?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Reputation
Caring about what other people think of you is part of being a social animal - inherent in humans, but adults are expected to have and to exercise good judgment. Adults care about what those they respect think about them. All others' may be ignored.
Some people feel that men who get with soft dominatrices are emasculated. This shows not only a closed mind, a juvenile mind, but also a mind that is uncomfortable with sex/sexuality.
The point to remember is "I do what you're too afraid to even think about".
Experienced women do scare men who are insecure of their prowess. They fear they will be unable to perform in her bed.
Dominatrices scare men who are insecure in their masculinity. They fear being seen as "girly" or submissive by others.
The point to remember is "I do what you're too afraid to even think about".
Wrap your mind around this concept: it takes courage to cede control.
Some people feel that men who get with soft dominatrices are emasculated. This shows not only a closed mind, a juvenile mind, but also a mind that is uncomfortable with sex/sexuality.
The point to remember is "I do what you're too afraid to even think about".
Experienced women do scare men who are insecure of their prowess. They fear they will be unable to perform in her bed.
Dominatrices scare men who are insecure in their masculinity. They fear being seen as "girly" or submissive by others.
The point to remember is "I do what you're too afraid to even think about".
Wrap your mind around this concept: it takes courage to cede control.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Fatalism
The real death for romance and superb sex is fatalism.
You think nothing will change. You think nothing will help.
You give up on your hopes. You give up on your dreams.
When all you need to do is to change your mindset.
If your basic ideas about men/women, sex, and relationships is wrong or unfulfilling, then you need to rethink, re-evaluate - and change what you believe is "true".
And this is not limited to your sex life. Fatalism is death in all areas of your life once it has caught hold. Fatlaism is a vampire that just sucks the lifeblood out of everything.
Instead of that, think of every day you wake up as a conquest! You have conquered! Celebrate each breath as if the next were your last! Every pulse of blood through your veins is a reason to rejoice!
For while there's life - there's a chance; there's a possibility!
Go for it!!
You think nothing will change. You think nothing will help.
You give up on your hopes. You give up on your dreams.
When all you need to do is to change your mindset.
If your basic ideas about men/women, sex, and relationships is wrong or unfulfilling, then you need to rethink, re-evaluate - and change what you believe is "true".
And this is not limited to your sex life. Fatalism is death in all areas of your life once it has caught hold. Fatlaism is a vampire that just sucks the lifeblood out of everything.
Instead of that, think of every day you wake up as a conquest! You have conquered! Celebrate each breath as if the next were your last! Every pulse of blood through your veins is a reason to rejoice!
For while there's life - there's a chance; there's a possibility!
Go for it!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Multi-Orgasmic Man
While it is true that no man can have as many orgasms as any woman, it is possible for men to have more than one orgasm per erection. All he has to do is to not ejaculate. Ejaculation triggers the refractory period (the resting period) in men so if he can avoid that, he can continue enjoying sex.
Easier said than done and men have been working on delaying orgasm for centuries since it is not polite for him to have his orgasm before she has her orgasms.
The orgasm is separate from the ejaculation. Orgasms are the flexing of the peri muscle while ejaculation is the release of fluid from the penis. By doing his Kegel exercises (stopping and starting the flow of urine while urinating by flexing this muscle) he can improve his control and strengthen this muscle.
A man can ejaculate without having an orgasm and can orgasm without ejaculating.
There are various methods used to delay orgasm including thinking of something else, focusing upon your partner, slowing down, changing positions, and stopping whatever is going on so he can regain his control. Condoms can also be used since they decrease his ability to feel to some degree.
Men can also practice using masturbation. The idea is for him to control his orgasm first and then to control his ejaculation by finding the pause in-between the two. Once found, increase the time of this pause by flexing the peri muscle during orgasm - thus extending the orgasm and extending the pause. Getting this just right may take some practice. This extending the pause is known as edge play because the man is riding on the edge of ejaculation.
To practice during intercourse, use small movements on her hotspots, moving from one to the other after each of her orgasms. Thrusting will only lead to orgasm and ejaculation so the idea is to avoid thrusting. A steady rocking movement that permits both partners to savor the orgasms that roll on through is the goal.
Women can assist in this endeavor in one of two ways. The first is by “doubling him” which is forcing out another orgasm just when he’s having one by continuing the movements that brought him to orgasm. Most men have a kind of “second gear” that they employ when moving to orgasm. Match his “second gear” and keep going until he comes again.
The second method is to delay or prevent thrusting using your body, internal muscles, or to delay orgasm by squeezing the base of his penis with some firmness, but not a vice-like grip, with your fingers. What technique will be required does vary from partner to partner so some exploration and experimentation will be needed.
Please be advised that men might also experience the same ‘false pain’ as a woman might when becoming multi-orgasmic and for the same reason. Once again, once he has become multi-orgasmic, the pain will not reoccur.
The point to doing all of this is to make it possible for men to continue the sexual interlude for four to five hours without needing a break. It is not mandatory. Should a man suffer from premature ejaculation, he might want to pursue edge play with the aim of gaining more control over himself.
There is a difference between circumcised and uncircumcised penises.
Circumcised penises tend to be less sensitive, from having been rubbing up against clothing for years, which tends to make edge play easier. No guarantees of course, as individuals vary.
It is entirely possible to have satisfying sex without going through all of this. But think about it. Wouldn’t it be fun to have two or three orgasms per erection? Wouldn’t it be fun to have sex continuously for four to five hours?
There is Tantric sex, the Kama Sutra, and various other methods available for those wishing to put some spirituality (etc.) into their sex life and this is fine as long as your partner is willing.
Then there’s the opposite problem from premature ejaculation: Erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, and the inability to ejaculate. In the absence of any medical conditions (which are beyond the scope of this book), body worship will help these conditions by relaxing him.
If a man has used steroids or some illegal drugs - he will not be able to orgasm. Should a woman come across a bulked up man with small testicles - he used steroids. “Users” are harder to spot but be advised that drugs tend to ruin the quality of sex to the point of why waste your time. Women can be similarly afflicted but normally the inability to orgasm in women stems from what is in their heads (what they believe) than what is in their bodies.
Easier said than done and men have been working on delaying orgasm for centuries since it is not polite for him to have his orgasm before she has her orgasms.
The orgasm is separate from the ejaculation. Orgasms are the flexing of the peri muscle while ejaculation is the release of fluid from the penis. By doing his Kegel exercises (stopping and starting the flow of urine while urinating by flexing this muscle) he can improve his control and strengthen this muscle.
A man can ejaculate without having an orgasm and can orgasm without ejaculating.
There are various methods used to delay orgasm including thinking of something else, focusing upon your partner, slowing down, changing positions, and stopping whatever is going on so he can regain his control. Condoms can also be used since they decrease his ability to feel to some degree.
Men can also practice using masturbation. The idea is for him to control his orgasm first and then to control his ejaculation by finding the pause in-between the two. Once found, increase the time of this pause by flexing the peri muscle during orgasm - thus extending the orgasm and extending the pause. Getting this just right may take some practice. This extending the pause is known as edge play because the man is riding on the edge of ejaculation.
To practice during intercourse, use small movements on her hotspots, moving from one to the other after each of her orgasms. Thrusting will only lead to orgasm and ejaculation so the idea is to avoid thrusting. A steady rocking movement that permits both partners to savor the orgasms that roll on through is the goal.
Women can assist in this endeavor in one of two ways. The first is by “doubling him” which is forcing out another orgasm just when he’s having one by continuing the movements that brought him to orgasm. Most men have a kind of “second gear” that they employ when moving to orgasm. Match his “second gear” and keep going until he comes again.
The second method is to delay or prevent thrusting using your body, internal muscles, or to delay orgasm by squeezing the base of his penis with some firmness, but not a vice-like grip, with your fingers. What technique will be required does vary from partner to partner so some exploration and experimentation will be needed.
Please be advised that men might also experience the same ‘false pain’ as a woman might when becoming multi-orgasmic and for the same reason. Once again, once he has become multi-orgasmic, the pain will not reoccur.
The point to doing all of this is to make it possible for men to continue the sexual interlude for four to five hours without needing a break. It is not mandatory. Should a man suffer from premature ejaculation, he might want to pursue edge play with the aim of gaining more control over himself.
There is a difference between circumcised and uncircumcised penises.
Circumcised penises tend to be less sensitive, from having been rubbing up against clothing for years, which tends to make edge play easier. No guarantees of course, as individuals vary.
It is entirely possible to have satisfying sex without going through all of this. But think about it. Wouldn’t it be fun to have two or three orgasms per erection? Wouldn’t it be fun to have sex continuously for four to five hours?
There is Tantric sex, the Kama Sutra, and various other methods available for those wishing to put some spirituality (etc.) into their sex life and this is fine as long as your partner is willing.
Then there’s the opposite problem from premature ejaculation: Erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, and the inability to ejaculate. In the absence of any medical conditions (which are beyond the scope of this book), body worship will help these conditions by relaxing him.
If a man has used steroids or some illegal drugs - he will not be able to orgasm. Should a woman come across a bulked up man with small testicles - he used steroids. “Users” are harder to spot but be advised that drugs tend to ruin the quality of sex to the point of why waste your time. Women can be similarly afflicted but normally the inability to orgasm in women stems from what is in their heads (what they believe) than what is in their bodies.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The Multi-Orgasmic Woman
She is not a myth. Women can have as many orgasms as she wants as often as she wants if only she will permit herself to do so. Many women base their ideas regarding sex and their bodies on outside influences. Since most men can have only one orgasm at a time, many women also assume that the same is true of them. It is not true.
What is true is that women have to learn how to orgasm. This is best done using masturbation to the point of orgasm. Women are born with all of the equipment and necessary circuits but those circuits are not activated since reproduction does not require orgasm. Partners can assist can until the circuits are activated nothing will happen. Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm should practice masturbating to orgasm as frequently as they can.
Many women think that by tensing their bodies and thinking hard they can force themselves to orgasm. No. Doing either will stop an orgasm from happening. To orgasm, a woman should instead imagine herself floating on an inflatable raft on ocean swells under the hot sun and a light warm breeze. Relax and let the ocean swells just roll in and out underneath her. No stress. No worries. All is right with the world. Think about nothing at all except how good this feels - again and again and again.
Orgasms are like ocean swells. They build. They slide along. They subside. Let them come. Permit them to roll on through you. Savor each one, small or large, in its turn as it comes. Enjoy the upwelling energy of each afterglow. Soon they all overlap and a woman enters a kind of nirvana, a fully aware but relaxed state where even the slightest breath will induce more orgasms.
Men can get very jealous.
Except the men who can assist a woman into this state. They walk around like they’re kings of the universe. And so they should for they are selflessly giving pleasure beyond what they themselves can usually achieve. No man can have as many orgasms as any woman. Men are simply not built that way.
To introduce women to being multi-orgasmic, a man has to both relax and arouse her. This is best done through body worship. Once she is relaxed and aroused, he can being bringing her to orgasm stimulating each ‘hotspot’ in turn. These ‘hotspots’ are the clitoris, the G-spot, the anterior fornix and the posterior fornix. Using every method he knows to begin in a little variety, assist her to orgasm before moving on to the next ‘hotspot’.
Should she need a rest in between orgasms, being a beginner so to speak, return to body worship. Gradually decrease the time between orgasms.
Some women become extremely sensitive after an orgasm. Instead of pleasure, they experience pain. This is actually a ‘false pain’. What is happening is her brain is not used to this new level of sensation and gets confused. The brain does not like being confused and wants this addition input to stop until the brain can sort it all out.
Give it time. Breathe calmly, deeply and relax through the pain if you have any. Let it go. On the other side are orgasms waiting their turn. Be assured that once breached, this ‘wall’ will no longer exist. Once you become multi-orgasmic, you will always be multi-orgasmic. From then on there will only be pleasure.
Cuddling afterwards is mandatory after a nirvana sex interlude. Wrap your partner into your big strong arms and bear hug her. Laugh, smile, and celebrate! Tell your partner never to hide from you again because you are now a king of the universe.
What is true is that women have to learn how to orgasm. This is best done using masturbation to the point of orgasm. Women are born with all of the equipment and necessary circuits but those circuits are not activated since reproduction does not require orgasm. Partners can assist can until the circuits are activated nothing will happen. Women who have difficulty reaching orgasm should practice masturbating to orgasm as frequently as they can.
Many women think that by tensing their bodies and thinking hard they can force themselves to orgasm. No. Doing either will stop an orgasm from happening. To orgasm, a woman should instead imagine herself floating on an inflatable raft on ocean swells under the hot sun and a light warm breeze. Relax and let the ocean swells just roll in and out underneath her. No stress. No worries. All is right with the world. Think about nothing at all except how good this feels - again and again and again.
Orgasms are like ocean swells. They build. They slide along. They subside. Let them come. Permit them to roll on through you. Savor each one, small or large, in its turn as it comes. Enjoy the upwelling energy of each afterglow. Soon they all overlap and a woman enters a kind of nirvana, a fully aware but relaxed state where even the slightest breath will induce more orgasms.
Men can get very jealous.
Except the men who can assist a woman into this state. They walk around like they’re kings of the universe. And so they should for they are selflessly giving pleasure beyond what they themselves can usually achieve. No man can have as many orgasms as any woman. Men are simply not built that way.
To introduce women to being multi-orgasmic, a man has to both relax and arouse her. This is best done through body worship. Once she is relaxed and aroused, he can being bringing her to orgasm stimulating each ‘hotspot’ in turn. These ‘hotspots’ are the clitoris, the G-spot, the anterior fornix and the posterior fornix. Using every method he knows to begin in a little variety, assist her to orgasm before moving on to the next ‘hotspot’.
Should she need a rest in between orgasms, being a beginner so to speak, return to body worship. Gradually decrease the time between orgasms.
Some women become extremely sensitive after an orgasm. Instead of pleasure, they experience pain. This is actually a ‘false pain’. What is happening is her brain is not used to this new level of sensation and gets confused. The brain does not like being confused and wants this addition input to stop until the brain can sort it all out.
Give it time. Breathe calmly, deeply and relax through the pain if you have any. Let it go. On the other side are orgasms waiting their turn. Be assured that once breached, this ‘wall’ will no longer exist. Once you become multi-orgasmic, you will always be multi-orgasmic. From then on there will only be pleasure.
Cuddling afterwards is mandatory after a nirvana sex interlude. Wrap your partner into your big strong arms and bear hug her. Laugh, smile, and celebrate! Tell your partner never to hide from you again because you are now a king of the universe.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Fragile Egos
No one is attractive to everyone. But in our heart of hearts - we want everyone to find us irresistable. We want everyone to say "yes". We want to be so devastating that we can make a sewage treatment plant "sexy" just by walking by it. We want the mere idea of us unbuttoning our blouse enough to make every man ejaculate in his pants. It could happen. Certainly, some people have "it". Somewhere. But we learn to deal with this kind of "ego-risk" as part of the maturation process.
The fragile ego being discussed here is the kind that releases the dark side of human nature. The fragile ego being discussed here is the result of having once been prey to a predator. Fragile egos are those that have been destroyed by others whose own egos have been previously destroyed by someone else with a fragile ego.
Abuse lives on because the abuser feels powerless and thus seeks what makes him/her feel powerful. Since the underlying cause of his/her powerlessness remains unaddressed, the wound is not healed, the need continues into pathology and a predator is born.
Insecurity, which is only fear in fancy dress, is to blame for all of this. One's fears cause fragility. When one fears something, one gives power away to whatever one fears leaving one powerless before whatever is fearful.
Fear of being abandoned makes women stay in toxic relationships. Fear of being seen as weak makes men raise their fists towards those they say they love. Fear of being rejected leads people to take what they were not given.
This is not how we should live.
Your happiness should not depend upon the ruination of another person. Your happiness should not depend upon the spilling of another's blood nor upon the breaking of another's bones. Your happiness should not depend upon the twisting of another person's mind or the blighting of their hopes and dreams. No one should have to die at your hands or upon your orders.
Resolve now to face up to your fears. Examine why you fear. Find another way.
Be gentle to eachother and try to consider their point of view.
Get help.
For an unexamined life is not worth living.
The fragile ego being discussed here is the kind that releases the dark side of human nature. The fragile ego being discussed here is the result of having once been prey to a predator. Fragile egos are those that have been destroyed by others whose own egos have been previously destroyed by someone else with a fragile ego.
Abuse lives on because the abuser feels powerless and thus seeks what makes him/her feel powerful. Since the underlying cause of his/her powerlessness remains unaddressed, the wound is not healed, the need continues into pathology and a predator is born.
Insecurity, which is only fear in fancy dress, is to blame for all of this. One's fears cause fragility. When one fears something, one gives power away to whatever one fears leaving one powerless before whatever is fearful.
Fear of being abandoned makes women stay in toxic relationships. Fear of being seen as weak makes men raise their fists towards those they say they love. Fear of being rejected leads people to take what they were not given.
This is not how we should live.
Your happiness should not depend upon the ruination of another person. Your happiness should not depend upon the spilling of another's blood nor upon the breaking of another's bones. Your happiness should not depend upon the twisting of another person's mind or the blighting of their hopes and dreams. No one should have to die at your hands or upon your orders.
Resolve now to face up to your fears. Examine why you fear. Find another way.
Be gentle to eachother and try to consider their point of view.
Get help.
For an unexamined life is not worth living.
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